You find self-acceeptance when you stop putting conditions on your self-worth.
A lot of the time, we tell ourselves, I’ll only be able to accept myself when I’m thin and beautiful and perfect. I’ll only like myself when I’m working at my dream job or when I get into a top college or when I get in a relationship.
But these conditions are often unrealistic and unobtainable, and if we put our lives on hold trying to achieve them, we will never find self-acceptance or happiness.
The truth is that who you are in this moment, is good enough.
There is nothing wrong with who you are.
There is no set of rules for what makes a person acceptable or worthy. Everyone is unique and NO ONE is perfect.
Finding confidence and self-acceptance come when you can realize that making mistakes, having flaws, and having weaknesses doesn’t make you a failure or inadequate—it makes you human.
It takes recognizing that your self-worth isn’t something you earn, but something inherent.
As a living, breathing, human being who inhabits this earth, you have value.
You exist, and therefore you matter.
You find self-acceptance when you stop comparing yourself to others, by recognizing that as a unique human being, there is nothing to compare.
You have a unique set of strengths and talents and insights. You have things to offer this world that no one else can share. These things are what make you special. You are far more valuable than you realize.
There will always be someone smarter or less intelligent than you.
Someone thinner or larger than you.
Someone richer or poorer than you.
Someone better or something or worse.
But there will never be another you.
You find confidence when you let go of self-doubt and the drive for perfection.
You find it when you recognize that life is filled with ups and downs, and that just because you slip and fall doesn’t mean you can’t get up and try again.
You find it when you believe in yourself.
You find it when you stop fixating on all the things that could go wrong, and start holding onto all the things that could go right.
Know that finding self-acceptance and confidence is a process, and a long one. It takes time, patience, and constantly challenging the thoughts telling you that you aren’t good enough.
Don’t give up.
Sending you love,
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling so lonely and unwanted and invisible :[
I know the feeling so well.
I answered a similar ask a few weeks ago that I think would be able to help you:
Also, I just want to add that there is a big differencebetween someone explicitly saying “I don’t want to talk to you” and assuming that people don’t want to talk to you because they don’t message you.
The reality is that people are busy, especially over school holidays. No one is intentionally ignoring you—they’re out doing things. Also, it’s important to remember that people are wrapped up in their own lives and their own struggles. Most people are focused on themselves, not because they’re selfish, but because their own lives are what’s on the forefront of their minds.
Also, I think you should check in with your friends.
When I felt like two of my best friends didn’t care about me and were ignoring me, I told them how I felt and asked if I had done something to push them away. They told me that I hadn’t done anything and that they were just really busy with school and finals.
Checking in reminded me that I don’t have an accurate perception of what people think of me and that I’m always assuming the worst case scenario.
I’ve learned that if I want to talk to someone, I can’t wait around for them to message me. I need to be proactive and message or call or text them first.
I have no doubt that people would miss you if you left university.
There’s no one like you on the planet.
No one with your smile or your laughter.
No one with your strengths and talents and insight.
If you left, things wouldn’t be the same for your friends.
You’re loved and people value your friendship.
You just have believe it. You have to quiet the voice telling you that you aren’t good enough.
I hope that this, and the other post I sent a link to are able to help.
Communicate with your friends. Let them know how you’re feeling. Use your voice.
Sending you a lot of love,
Thank you so much for your kind words.
They mean so much more than you know, especially on a day like this when I’m struggling.
Know that you have my friendship—that goes without question.
If you ever need or want someone to talk to, you can always message me on here. I would love to be a friend to you and support you in whatever way I can.
If you do it off anonymous I will definitely get back to you much sooner. Otherwise, I answer the anonymous messages I get in order of when they were sent and do it away a way so that they are spread out so as not to overwhelm peoples’ dashboards with asks.
Know that wanting to get better is the first step.
I’m not sure what you’re battling, but what I am sure of is that you aren’t alone in your struggle and that you don’t have to face it alone.
Just because something is difficult to reach, doesn’t mean you’re inadequate or weak or a moron.
It means exactly what you said…that it’s difficult. And things that are challenging, especially recovery, is not something that happens overnight. It takes years of hard work and patience and determination. It takes fighting every day and it takes never giving up.
It isn’t easy, but that certainly doesn’t mean you can’t get there.
I believe in you.
All you have to do is believe in yourself and hold onto hope.
It exists, and so does a life free of what you’re trying to better yourself from.
Sending you so much love,