Hi Daniell. Thank you for what you do. You're making the world a better place once person at a time, you're truly an angel. My question is: what do you suggest for someone like me who has hit rock bottom? Where do I go from here? There are so many things I need fix in order to get back to the old me. My weight, my attitude, my mood, the way people perceive me, and my (crappy) relationships w/ friends/family. I have so much work to do. I've been fighting so hard, for so long, and I'm just tired.

Hey!

Thank you for your kind words :) They mean so much to me. 

In response to your question, when you’ve hit rock bottom, the only place left to go is up—because if things can’t get any worse, they can only get better. Knowing that has always filled me with a sense of hope.

I know the feeling of being tired, so, so well.

It’s easy to feel exhausted and overwhelmed when you look at everything you need to do all together. So, I think the first step is to make a list of all the things you want to accomplish, and underneath each goal, make a list of steps necessary to take in order to complete those goals. 

When I break things down into steps, it makes achieving my goals much more concrete and manageable. And quite often, it helps me to realize that I don’t have to do as much as work as I thought.

I’m not sure what the next steps would be given that I don’t know the full extent of what you’re going through. Based on what you wrote, it sounds like you might be struggling with low self-esteem, damaged interpersonal relationships, body image, and a low mood. If this is the case, I think it would be really beneficial to work with a therapist to help you work through some of these issues. 

There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. If things seem to difficult to manage on your own, reach out and get your needs met. Everyone struggles and everyone needs help from time to time. You are no exception to that.

Something I’ve learned on my own journey is that when I’m taking care of myself, everything else falls into place. When I’m not binging and purging or restricting, when I listen to my body and adequately feed it, my weight goes it it’s healthy set point.

When I’m treating myself with compassion and kindness, I feel happier. When I’m challenging my the negative thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve my life, I find that my attitude and outlook becomes more positive and hopeful. 

When I see myself as someone with inherent worth, carry myself with confidence, and embrace who I am with acceptance and love, I draw people to me, make connections, and create friendships with ease. 

When I set boundaries with family and friends, use my voice, speak my truth, and make sure not to compromise my own wellbeing for the sake of someone else, I create healthy interpersonal relationships.

The point I’m trying to make is that all the things you’re fighting to improve will improve simply if you start taking care of yourself. Healing is less about trying to control external things—how other people act, your weight, how people perceive you—and more about focusing on the internal—getting your needs met, adopting a positive attitude, and accepting yourself.

I know you’re tired, but you can’t give up.

Just because things are hard now doesn’t mean they will be forever.

Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean you can’t overcome it. 

You are stronger than you realize. 

You have the power to change your circumstances.

You just have to believe in yourself.

Sending you love and strength,

Daniell

19 June 10 Anonymous

Notes

  1. internal-acceptance-movement posted this

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About The Movement:

My name is Daniell, and I am the creator of the Internal Acceptance Movement (I. A.M.)

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    The Internal Acceptance Movement is an online space that advocates self-acceptance, healthy body image, recovery from self-destructive behaviors and addictions, and the acceptance of all people, regardless of what they look like, who they identify as, what they have been through, and where they come from. I. A.M. is a space that offers support to those battling their inner demons and strength to continue fighting when all hope seems to be gone.

    I. A.M. represents the idea that as human beings, we aren't defined by anything external, such as our weight, appearance, body shape, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, clothing choices, income, occupation, or background. But that instead, it's our internal qualities--our character and attitude, our passions and dreams, our soul and spirit, our heart and capacity to love, our goals and morals, and the way in which we treat others--that are truly self defining.

    Whether you're battling an eating disorder, self-harm, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, PTSD, low self-esteem, anxiety, self-hating thoughts, poor body image, or any other mental health condition or self-destructive behavior, I. A.M. exists to remind you that you are NOT alone in how you feel or what you're going through; that it's okay to not be okay, and that you don't have to face this pain alone; that things can and will get better; that healing and recovery are possible; that there is nothing wrong with who you are; the who you are is enough; and that you are deserving of happiness, love, and acceptance, always.


    I'm here if you need me: whether it's support, someone to vent to, a question, or you just want to say hi--know that this is a safe place and that you aren't alone. If I don't respond immediately, know that I'm not ignoring you. I will message you back at my earliest convenience. If you have an emergency or feel that you want to hurt yourself, please, please call 911. I'm not a therapist or a mental health professional of any kind. If you're in danger, you need to ask for help from people who can adequately support you. Sending you love: Daniell
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