A lot of us think that by expecting the worst, we can protect ourselves from feeling hurt and disappointed.
We think that if something bad happens, we will be prepared for it, and if something good happens it will exceed our expectations.
It seems like a win-win scenario.
What we don’t realize however is that in our attempt to prevent ourselves from experiencing something bad, we are simultaneously preventing ourselves from experiencing anything good.
Because we have already decided that nothing good is going to happen, we put in less effort and give up more easily.
Our negative attitude becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in which we create the very outcome we feared would become a reality.
In the moment, it’s easy to think that the bad things have happened because we’re inadequate or incapable. And by allowing those negative perceptions to become our truth, we perpetuate the self-sabotaging cycle.
In order to find freedom, we have to recognize that the problem isn’t who we are, but our outlook.
It’s our defeatist attitude that causes our defeat—not our authentic selves.
The truth is that life isn’t perfect.
Bad things happen all the time, to everyone.
Not because we’re bad people, but because life is strewn with obstacles and hardship.
We may not be able to avoid certain struggles and unfavorable outcomes, but the one thing we always have control over is our attitude.
We can choose to assume the worst and admit defeat.
Or we can choose to recognize our struggle as an opportunity for learning and growth.
We can choose to fixate on all of the bad things that have happened to us and allow them to discount the positives in our life, or we can choose to focus on all of the good things and use them as a reminder that more good can come our way.
We can choose to give up when things get difficult, or we can choose to do our best and continue to pick ourselves back up, no matter how many times we fall.
Our bad experiences may be uncomfortable and painful, but they are not without purpose.
Instead of trying to avoid hurt and disappointment, choose to redefine them.
Remind yourself that without the bad times, you wouldn’t be able to truly appreciate and cherish the good ones.
Without struggling, there would be no growth or self-discovery.
Without being wounded, you would never recognize your capacity to endure, overcome, and survive.
So have faith in yourself and your abilities.
Don’t allow your fear of being hurt to prevent you from experiencing happiness.
Trust that as long as you try your best and don’t give up, you can make it through anything.
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About The Movement:
My name is Daniell, and I am the creator of the Internal Acceptance Movement (I. A.M.)
Need support? Have a question?
The Internal Acceptance Movement is an online space that advocates self-acceptance, healthy body image, recovery from self-destructive behaviors and addictions, and the acceptance of all people, regardless of what they look like, who they identify as, what they have been through, and where they come from. I. A.M. is a space that offers support to those battling their inner demons and strength to continue fighting when all hope seems to be gone.
I. A.M. represents the idea that as human beings, we aren't defined by anything external, such as our weight, appearance, body shape, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, clothing choices, income, occupation, or background. But that instead, it's our internal qualities--our character and attitude, our passions and dreams, our soul and spirit, our heart and capacity to love, our goals and morals, and the way in which we treat others--that are truly self defining.
Whether you're battling an eating disorder, self-harm, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, PTSD, low self-esteem, anxiety, self-hating thoughts, poor body image, or any other mental health condition or self-destructive behavior, I. A.M. exists to remind you that you are NOT alone in how you feel or what you're going through; that it's okay to not be okay, and that you don't have to face this pain alone; that things can and will get better; that healing and recovery are possible; that there is nothing wrong with who you are; the who you are is enough; and that you are deserving of happiness, love, and acceptance, always.
I'm here if you need me: whether it's support, someone to vent to, a question, or you just want to say hi--know that this is a safe place and that you aren't alone. If I don't respond immediately, know that I'm not ignoring you. I will message you back at my earliest convenience. If you have an emergency or feel that you want to hurt yourself, please, please call 911. I'm not a therapist or a mental health professional of any kind. If you're in danger, you need to ask for help from people who can adequately support you. Sending you love: Daniell