A lot of us believe that when people leave our lives during difficult times, it means that there is something wrong with us.
We use it as proof that we’re inadequate and unloveable and a burden. We internalize their abandonment and decide that we’re bad people and friends, and therefore, unworthy of having future friendships and being loved.
But the truth is that anyone who is only willing to stick around when things are good and easy isn’t someone worth investing time in.
The truth, is that there is nothing wrong with who who you are.
Your struggles don’t define you.
They don’t invalidate the person you are and they don’t discount the times you’re doing well.
You’re struggles don’t make you weak or inadequate or unloveable—they make you human.
And if certain people decide to base your worth as a human being, and a friend, on your inner demons, they don’t deserve your friendship.
Because ultimately, their judgement towards your struggles and their unwillingness to support you when you’re in need says much, much more about them than it does about you.
You deserve to have people in your life who are willing to stick around throughout the good and the bad.
You deserve to be seen as more than your struggles.
You deserve to be loved and accepted wholeheartedly, without conditions.
You deserve these things because you exist and therefore you matter.
Your feelings matter. Your experiences matter. And your needs matter.
Instead of focusing on all the people who have left, hold onto and remember all the people who have stayed.
They stayed for a reason—they stayed because they love you, because they care, and because they value the person you are, regardless of your struggles.
These are the people who matter.
Let go of the rest.
And realize that when people leave your life, they are making room for new, often better people to enter.
So the next time someone chooses to leave because you don’t fit their definition of “good enough”, remind yourself that they are doing you a favor.
Remind yourself that there are other people out there, waiting for someone like you.
People who will recognize your strengths and talents.
People who will enjoy your company and value your insight and friendship.
People who appreciate you for exactly the person you are.
Remind yourself of the lessons the person who left has taught you, give yourself permission to feel the feelings that come with their loss, and then let them go.
New and better things away you.
You are so much more than your struggles, and if certain people can’t see that, then they don’t deserve to have a place in your life.
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About The Movement:
My name is Daniell, and I am the creator of the Internal Acceptance Movement (I. A.M.)
Need support? Have a question?
The Internal Acceptance Movement is an online space that advocates self-acceptance, healthy body image, recovery from self-destructive behaviors and addictions, and the acceptance of all people, regardless of what they look like, who they identify as, what they have been through, and where they come from. I. A.M. is a space that offers support to those battling their inner demons and strength to continue fighting when all hope seems to be gone.
I. A.M. represents the idea that as human beings, we aren't defined by anything external, such as our weight, appearance, body shape, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, clothing choices, income, occupation, or background. But that instead, it's our internal qualities--our character and attitude, our passions and dreams, our soul and spirit, our heart and capacity to love, our goals and morals, and the way in which we treat others--that are truly self defining.
Whether you're battling an eating disorder, self-harm, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, PTSD, low self-esteem, anxiety, self-hating thoughts, poor body image, or any other mental health condition or self-destructive behavior, I. A.M. exists to remind you that you are NOT alone in how you feel or what you're going through; that it's okay to not be okay, and that you don't have to face this pain alone; that things can and will get better; that healing and recovery are possible; that there is nothing wrong with who you are; the who you are is enough; and that you are deserving of happiness, love, and acceptance, always.
I'm here if you need me: whether it's support, someone to vent to, a question, or you just want to say hi--know that this is a safe place and that you aren't alone. If I don't respond immediately, know that I'm not ignoring you. I will message you back at my earliest convenience. If you have an emergency or feel that you want to hurt yourself, please, please call 911. I'm not a therapist or a mental health professional of any kind. If you're in danger, you need to ask for help from people who can adequately support you. Sending you love: Daniell
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